Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Is this Real? Am I ready? (my own personal reflections a week before departure)

For over a year now we have been talking and praying and dreaming about moving our family to Mexico—and now that time is here!!  Ben leaves in 2 days, and I fly out in 9!  Crazy!  It’s so hard to believe!  Am I ready?  That is such a hard question to answer.  Will I ever be ready?  I’m not sure.  Partly because I’m not sure what to be ready for!  Am I excited?  Yes…on most days!  We are very excited for this adventure.  One of the things I love about my husband is that he always looks at life as an adventure.  So, I know that this journey to Mexico will be one great big adventure with Ben!  I’m excited to explore the area, to go new places, to see life in a whole new culture, to watch my kids interact with the culture, to grow closer as a family, and to learn to really rely on the Lord. 

Am I scared?  Yes.  Nervous?  Most definitely!  Perhaps mostly about learning the language and being able to communicate with the people there.  And I’m not so excited about bugs and such throughout my home.  I know I’ll have a lot to let go of—like my standards of cleanliness (especially in bathrooms), time and punctuality, schedules and tasks.  I’m praying for the Lord’s grace to help me learn to embrace and love the differences in our cultures.  I’m nervous about Ben driving cross-country and through Mexico—but I’m reminded often that there is no better place to be than in the Lord’s hands.  So I am praying for His peace while Ben is travelling. 

What is my biggest fear?  Well…probably loneliness! And as Ben expressed it, the fear of being forgotten.  I know that it will be a big adjustment for me in regards to relationships.  I have been so blessed with a great community of women around me in Charlotte—and I’m really going to miss my dear friends.  I will miss my Wednesday morning prayer girls!  I’ll miss play dates with friends and seeing our kids play together!  I will miss sweet conversations over coffee or enjoying a pedicure together.  But the Lord knows this—and He has encouraged me from the beginning that He sees this detail and that He will provide!  I don’t know what it will look like, but I know He has great things to teach me in regards to this fear!  And for one, I know that He desires deeper friendship and intimacy and fellowship between me and Ben—and I’m excited to see Him really grow our marriage!

More top things I will miss…

1.  Being able to drink tap water at will—brushing my teeth normally in the sink!

2.  Air conditioning!!!! 

Ready or not, here we go!!! 

No comments: